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In my last blog post back in March I shared with you how finding a way to choose God’s perspective over my own was a huge game changer for me. Well, last season my newfound perspective was put to the test! For time sake I will spare you of our whole pity party, because I know we all have them, but it you desire to read it in full you can find it on my blog.
There were so many super neat things that God made clear to us through a very unexpected season last year and I wish I could share every little blessing along the way. There was one day, however, that made a huge impact on me. I shared this story with a group of wives at a Spring Training workshop last month. While I was spending time in prayer over what I wanted to share with them I had a hard time understanding why this day continued to pop in my head because in all honesty it had nothing to do with baseball. After much more prayer, though, I started to think maybe that was just the point. I decided to also share it here in hopes that I could paint a clear enough picture for you too to see a glimpse of what I experienced.
Brian was scheduled to play against the Rockies in Denver after the All-Star break so we decided to fly home and let the kids stay with our parents while we went to Denver for the weekend. Somehow I was always pregnant, or with newborns, and always missed the Denver trips. I was excited to see a new place and for a weekend alone with Brian! The night we flew in he was off so we walked to have dinner. If you have ever been to downtown Denver you know that it is filled with homeless people. This made me over the top excited! Living in Miami for three years made me fall in love with homeless people. I know to some that may seem crazy, especially if you live in a small town where you never encounter them. I have learned, though, that nine out of ten times those homeless people bless me! So, to be honest, I am talking with them out of selfish joy most of the time. Nothing like finding some real perspective by having a conversation with a homeless person who is sharing scripture with you and is content with whatever food and shelter the Lord gives them each day.
Brian could see my wheels turning. He loves that I have a heart for them, but he loves me more and it scares him because he thinks I put myself in unsafe situations with them. He has really come around though. Instead of barely cracking the window to throw food to them, he actually will roll the window all the way down now! LOL! So to respect our date night I decided to just keep walking, but I knew exactly what I was doing the next day when he left to go to the stadium.
He was getting ready to head out that next day and he saw me filling my bag with waters and food to hand out. He knew my plan. I reassured him I wouldn’t do anything stupid. Also if you have ever been to Denver you know that is probably the safest place to approach the homeless. The streets are beautiful and have built-in benches and checker games. They even have built-in pianos and tons of water fountains up and down the main streets. It’s like Disney World for the homeless. Not to mention hundreds of people walking around at all times, so you are never alone. I didn’t feel unsafe at all! The only problem I came across was that these homeless people really didn’t need my goodies. There was a place a couple of blocks away that would feed them! At least I tried and they kindly declined my waters, but happily took my snacks.
I think I had been walking for about an hour with my very heavy water filled bag when I walked upon my “GOD MOMENT”.
I heard the prettiest music being played. I continued to walk up the street toward it and found the sound was coming from a homeless girl playing on the piano. I was across the sidewalk from her so I was facing her back. It was as if the sun was breaking through the tall buildings just enough to beam down only on her. I don’t even know what songs she was singing, but it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen or heard. I stood there in awe! I probably wasn’t there for very long but it was if time stood still and I could only hear her. I remember thinking “how did she get here? what lead her to this?” I think anyone with musical talent is just gifted from God. I am not! In fact I am pretty sure that the people in front of me at church are not crying because the Holy Spirit is moving them, it’s because I’m singing my heart out behind them. I just couldn’t understand how something so beautiful was wrapped up in what looked like such a hard life. Then my thoughts went to wondering why no one else was as mesmerized as I was. Were they not hearing this?
Then two cute girls, who were probably around my age, walked right by me. One of them stopped and said, “wow I have never seen that before”. I got so excited because I thought finally someone else was seeing it too! But as soon as I thought that, she said the cruelest thing she could have said about the girl playing the piano. My heart hurt! And as soon as she said it I looked over to the homeless girl. She was totally right. She wasn’t lying, but until she said it I never noticed the girl’s outward appearance. That cute girl just stole my “GOD MOMENT” right out from underneath me. And the crazy thing was that I wasn’t sad for the homeless girl. I was sad that these two cute girls just missed out on something so beautiful.
Now, if you didn’t already think I was just a little crazy or weird, prepare yourself. The girls walked off and I grabbed my bag and prayer stalked them for two blocks. Yes, I totally followed them and prayed for them, and me. I am not in the business of pray stalking, I promise! But if you ever see me and want to pray stalk me, please do because I can never have enough. All joking aside… I wasn’t praying for them because I was judging them. I was praying for them and me because I am 100% sure that I have had way more days in my life that I would have seen exactly what they saw. And I’m pretty sure I have plenty more of those days to come unless I align myself with Him daily. I prayed that I wouldn’t ever be blind to those moments again. Something so simple impacted me so much and made me think of how many moments like that happen around all of us and we let silly life get in the way!
After I prayed for all of us, I turned to go and tell that girl that I saw God through her that day. What if she didn’t even know God? And I wanted to bless her for blessing me. She wasn’t there! I still can see that day so clear in my head and I often pray for a girl whose face I never even saw.
I feel like this experience is just a slice of what God can show us when we take the spotlight off ourselves long enough to see His bigger picture. It reminds me of a scripture that I love.
“Not by power, nor by might, but by my spirit.” Zechariah 4:6
I think He is saying He doesn’t need you to find your own peace or strength in every circumstance. He doesn’t need you to fully understand why. He just needs you to admit you need His help and then get out of His way so that He can give you what He knows you need.
What I am hoping that some of you will grasp from this part of my journey is that His perspective may not change your circumstances BUT it will change YOU! It will allow you to better understand how you fit into His big puzzle instead of us trying to fit Him into ours. That is when I believe we find true freedom in this crazy lifestyle! That is why I love that this day had nothing to do with baseball. I love how God can use sports to just simply put us where He needs us. When we can find a way to take all the focus off of it we allow Him to use us in HUGE ways!
My prayer for today:
Lord, help us to never miss all the moments of small blessings you give us! Help us to see the small blessings sometimes are more powerful than the big ones. Help us to keep our eyes on things above so that our vision is always clear!